Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Runway Resurfacing Starts Tomorrow

If you're out and about and flying to Lee Bottom you may see some equipment* on the runway. If you do, just fly by and all associated workers* and machinery* will move off to the side so you can land.  Over the next week or two, depending on the ability of the contractors* to get the job done on schedule*, the daytime resurfacing effort could be quite hectic*.  Although all employees* know to look for and accommodate aircraft traffic whenever possible, they are known to move slow* before their first Red Bull.  Therefore, again we ask that you exercise patience while we improve the primary landing surface.
* The terms workers, contractors, and employees refers to Ginger and Rich.  The words equipment and machinery should be equated to our tractors and associated accessories.  As for schedule, hectic, and slow, they all mean the same thing which is whenever we have time and whatever pace we chose.  There is no guarantee of timeliness.  Employees are not required to move from the runway for FAA, TSA, or Homeland Security personnel.  All governmental visits must be by appointment.  Beer and pizza are welcome as gifts as long as they are gluten free.  The animals are sheep, not goats.  It takes us 8-10 hours to do all mowing including trimming.  We're slowly rebuilding from the tornado but aren't there yet.  No you can't hunt here because that right is already spoken for.  We make no money from the airport and yes you are welcome to donate because that's how we pay for runway resurfacing.  No Mexicans are harmed during resurfacing.  If you have nothing to offer but smiles, that's perfectly fine.  Anyone not smiling will be escorted away.  Our dogs don't bite and two of the three are better than yours.  Our cat is extremely smart and he does the accounting.  If you get a bill for landing fees payable in tuna, yep that was him.  Rich likes his job but he'd rather be here flying old planes.  Ginger likes the airport but would much rather be 25 and hiking the Himalayas.  The owners offer no guarantee on your experience at Lee Bottom.  If you didn't like it, you probably suck as a person in general and should consider that as a reason you have no friends.  Despite what your doctors are telling you, ticks all over this region carry lyme disease.  If they tell you otherwise they are out of touch.  The river bottom is not some mythical place with strange diseases and animals that don't exist elsewhere in the area.  Of course, there is the mountain lion, giant python, and bear one person claims to have seen.  All other claims of rare sightings should be seen as reliable.  Tax, tags, and license apply.  Have you bought any honey?  Sorry but the cabin is out of service. Yes you can camp.  If you are flying a tricycle because people have told you taildraggers are difficult to fly, you are missing out on something great due to idiots and cowards.  No implication is made in this statement as to your ability to overcome Cessna feet.  It is a horrible disease which is literally sometimes fatal.  Dark Chocolate is to chocolate what a Morgan three-wheeler is to a Prius.  For our friends that own Priussss, sorry it's true.  That though is overlooked because you like cool airplanes.  Never forget that.  Did I mention two of our three dogs is better than yours and the other one is prettier?  That is guaranteed by the full faith and credit of the Lower Salude Savings and Loan.  The Lower Saluda Savings and Load is run by the Fed; full disclosure.  So far the Cloudboy is Rich's favorite biplane he has flown. Feel free though to lend him yours if it is something different so he can find out if there is something better.  Should you have something better, all attorney's fees are to be paid by the person who lost their plane to some guy who took off and didn't come back. Flying is freedom.  That is the only worthwhile reason to fly.  Experience it while you can.  If you like it, take one year off from your EAA and AOPA memberships and donate that money to our runway resurfacing and facility construction fund.  At least you'll know where money is going and that we are actually here because we love it.  Although like both of those organizations we too are rebuilding after a proverbial shit-storm, ours was actually a storm. Need we say more?  Support the cause.  Donate early and donate often.  Every penny has always gone right back into the field and for that reason it is still here for you to use.  You keep it alive and only you can.  That we do guarantee with no exceptions.  


Anonymous said...

Love it!

Unknown said...

there really is a bear around i swear